EP6: The Paper Bag Plan with Director/Writer/Producer Anthony Lucero

There’s a moment in caregiving that almost nobody says out loud, yet so many families recognize instantly. That’s where my conversation with filmmaker Anthony Lucero begins and where his movie The Paper Bag Plan goes with honesty, tenderness, and a steady respect for dignity. If you’re caring for aging parents, supporting a loved one with a disability, or quietly wondering what the future holds for your family, this story will feel painfully familiar in the best way. 

Anthony shares how the film is inspired by his mother, who cared for his brother with severe physical and cognitive disabilities, and by the loss of his sister, who left behind a daughter with Angelman syndrome. We talk about the emotional weight caregivers carry, the family dynamics that form around long-term care, and the question that keeps people up at night: who takes the next shift when the primary caregiver is gone? Along the way, we dig into purpose and identity, including why work and independence matter so much for people with disabilities. 

We also pull back the curtain on independent filmmaking. Anthony explains what a microbudget indie film (under $300,000) really requires, how he navigated casting, why he insisted on authentic disability casting, and how his wife stepped in to help finance and edit the project during the pandemic. You’ll also hear where to rent The Paper Bag Plan, why reviews and word of mouth matter, and a reminder to stay through the credits. If this conversation hits home, subscribe, share it with someone you love, and leave a review so more caregivers can find it.

Watch the trailer here

Get in touch with Anthony here

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Transcript

Welcome And Why This Story Matters

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Welcome to the Right Size Life, a podcast about making space for what matters most. I'm your host, Amy Schmidt, founder of Fearlessly Facing 50, and each week we explore what it means to right size our homes, our health, our relationships, and our lives, not from a place of loss, but from a place of possibility. Because sometimes the next chapter begins with letting go. And today's conversation is deeply emotional, incredibly timely, and one I think so many families will connect with. My guest is Anthony Lacero, director, writer, and producer of the film The Paper Bag Plan, a powerful story that explores aging, caregiving, dignity, family responsibility, and what happens when life no longer unfolds the way we expected. And honestly, isn't that what so many people are quietly navigating right now? Whether we're caring for aging parents, supporting loved ones through illness, or facing our own questions around identity and purpose later in life, there's something profoundly human about learning how to hold space for one another in difficult seasons. This conversation is about caregiving, compassion, emotional resilience, family dynamics, and what truly matters when life gets tripped down to its essentials. Because maybe the right size life isn't about having everything perfectly together. Maybe it's about learning how to stay present for what matters most. Well, this is an exciting show today. Exciting for the fact that, you know, I think that this conversation is important. As I said in the um in the introduction to this, I've done a lot of shows on the Fearlessly Facing 50 podcast about caregiving, about aging parents, about, I don't know if you can remember, it was back episode probably 50 something that I talked about John Michael Knight, who um was a child that had a stroke and how his mom and dad were caring for him. Um this is just gonna be a really powerful conversation. So I want to, without further ado, I'm just gonna introduce Anthony Lacero to the show. So I'm so happy that you're here.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

Thank you for having me. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 2:19

Oh, it's gonna be great. And you know, this this actually came about pretty quick. And sometimes um when I have, you know, certain things that come up, you reach out and it takes forever to get connected. So I really appreciate you making time for this. Um, we're gonna dig right into this film. We're gonna dig right into you, and hopefully your wife will maybe make an appearance. You know, we were talking a little bit before we started recording and she's in sweatpants, and I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm in sweatpants. She'd be my soul sister. She can come on anytime. So um just really excited to have you here. Anthony, I'm just gonna start with the question that everybody has been asking you. And what has inspired you to write, to produce, to put together this movie called the Paperbag Plan?

Anthony’s Family Caregiving Roots

SPEAKER_01 2:59

The the and people they often walk away and say it feels authentic. It feels as though it's uh based off real people. And it was inspired by my mom, Elsie, and my brother Eddie. Uh Eddie uh was uh cognitively, mentally disabled and physically disabled. So um my mom would lift him out of that wheelchair, out of the bed every day, up until her late 70s. She was still and yeah, she had these really just everybody would comment on her biceps because she had really big biceps. Uh mom is still with us, she's 93 now. Um, but uh in her late 70s, she would she would lift him and take him into the shower. And it's one of those things where my mom was very independent. And you know, we'd be in the house and be like, hey, mom, when you're ready to to put Eddie to bed, let us know. Hours would go by and be like, Wow, you ready? She's like, Oh, I already put him to bed. So she was very, she would just lift Eddie on her. It was, it just gave her the it was her job and it gave her pride to do this. Yeah, it really did. And uh, so um Eddie passed away about uh 2013. He was uh 49 years old. Um, but he lived a long life. I mean, he wasn't supposed to live past two, and doctors were like, he's not gonna live past four, and he just kept going. And it is 100% due to my mom's love. It is that is it. It is my mom's love, my mom's care, because she would just talk to him and comb his hair, and you know, he didn't have to wear shoes, but he put she'd put shoes on him and she would dress him up, and that was her companion. I lost my father when I was 10. And so after that point, my mom was she was 100% um, you know, his caretaker. So um, but it was it was a lot of love between those two, and it was her companion. Like I said, it was her companion. When he left, when he passed, it just it broke her, it really did. And um yeah, but that's that's uh and uh let me just say the the second uh half of the inspiration was my sister Margie. She uh passed away of cancer in 2018, she was uh 64. Yeah, she that was very quick and very uh unexpected, and she was like my godmother, she was like my second mom. So she she passed away unexpectedly of cancer. She left behind her daughter, Sarah, who has Angelman syndrome. Oh, wow, yeah. Angelman syndrome. Um, it's funny when I mention it, people will come out of the woodwork. My, you know, I know somebody who has angelmins. It's very rare. Um, and and so the so my my niece Sarah, who has angelmins, she's turning 40, but cognitively she's about a one-year-old. So, so yeah, my sister left behind Sarah. And so it kind of kick-started. Well, I I will say that I had this idea of an aging parent, an aging caretaker. What happens right when they pass? Yeah, and and they leave behind their, you know, child with a disability or somebody that they're caring for, or you know, what happens if they once they leave this earth? Because we had thought about it. We had thought about it as a family. What's gonna happen once my mom passes? Who is then going to be the caretaker of Eddie? Yeah, and uh so I had this idea once my sister passed, I then finished the screenplay. I was like, well, I need to finish this film, and that's that was the inspiration for it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

How how long was it in the making? I mean, how long did you have that idea of kind of? I mean, you've you've you've grown up with this, you've been around this, you've seen this and lived it.

SPEAKER_01 6:28

I mean, yeah, I I can't put a number on it, but I would say, you know, maybe 2016. I started pinning it 2017, 2018, my sister passed, and then I finished it 2019. Uh, and and it was originally a mom, mom and son relationship, of course, because it was inspired by these two amazing women in my life.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

And it was interesting because my casting uh director sent it out to, you know, we had I had sort of handpicked maybe 30 actresses that I thought would fit this part that I thought were really great actors, yeah, but just hadn't been propelled into a lead feature role.

Microbudget Indie Filmmaking Reality

SPEAKER_01 7:09

Anyway, long story short, we got we we got denied uh by all of them. Mostly because of the budget level of the film. We were micro budget. It's an indie film, and people in I don't think so.

SPEAKER_00 7:20

It's you know but talk about that for a minute. For for these listeners and and viewers, you know, an indie film, walk us through that because a lot of people don't realize the cost and and the time and and all of that, you know, an indie versus what's what's the other? It's either an independent film or or or a studio film.

SPEAKER_01 7:37

Studio film. And and those are very loose terms because independent can mean anything outside of big studios, Warner Brothers, Netflix, but there's hundreds of other studios that that still have a lot of money. Us, our our term for independent film, I mean it it's also called uh a micro budget indie film. Micro budget is something under $300,000. Wow. So that's where yeah, so that's where we fall.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

Wow. And yeah, and it's amazing, actually, that you can put this level film together, this quality, that's incredible.

SPEAKER_01 8:09

It it is amazing. And for most people, they don't know budgets of films. You know, a typical budget of a film would be, I don't know, $10 million or so. For that's that's low budget. That is low budget's $10 million. Wow. Um, you know, you can't find an actor for $10 million off an A-list actor.

SPEAKER_00 8:25

No, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

Excuse me. So um, so yeah, $300,000 is a lot of money for us because it's self-funded and mostly funded by my wife. So uh Kaylohe, and I'll I'll just speak to how we came up like self self-financing the film. We we had uh a funder early on, they dropped out because they wanted to be in the film, and I just didn't want to compromise the story. I I just I was so just the story was just very important to me. I was very passionate about paperbag plan, about telling it accurately. And so when I told the financier she could not be in, like I could not write a huge part for her, it would it would just derail the project. And so she pulled out, and then my wife, she could see that I was you know fairly I was down. I was down. This was during the pandemic 2020, and she said, I I will I will finance the film. Amazing, you know, get off the couch, stop being depressed. And uh yeah, and she I wasn't on the couch. We had a we had a kid, we had a we had a newborn in 2020. Um, but she could see like I was just a dad. I was a right, you know, a stay-at-home dad. And she's like, You you need something else in your life. So she's like, I will fund the film, and she did.

unknown 9:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:42

That's incredible. Oh, I love to hear that. I hope we can meet her. Um, you know, I talk a lot about your passion and your purpose and how they intersect. And I think that's so prevalent in this. Now, hearing the backstory of, you know, how you came about this. Um, you know, it really was your passion. And really your purpose was getting this message out for people to see.

SPEAKER_01 10:01

Yeah, it it was. It's uh because I felt I felt that there weren't very many people that knew this type of um you really can't call it a struggle because people love doing it. People love being caretakers or certain people that just love to do that. And some people that it's like it is it's heartbreaking. It's a lot of work and it's a lot of scheduling and change of life. And so but I I didn't know if people knew that story of caretaking, of taking care of a child with a disability. So this was sort of me just opening the door to that to people of that world. And then once I did, now I get hundreds of thousands of people that are reaching out to me that are saying, This is my story, or I, you know, this is I it it's really interesting. I did not, I mean, even on my first film, I did a film about sushi. I didn't think there'd be people that like love sushi and films about sushi or food films. And then this film, I didn't know there'd be so many people, caretakers and people with disabilities that are saying, thank you for for showing us in a positive light. But it's incredible.

SPEAKER_00 11:08

It's incredible, and that's how you weave together these these stories of people.

The Personal Cost Of Caregiving

SPEAKER_00 11:12

Um, you know, I had mentioned earlier I had a podcast early on, years ago, probably 2020 or 2021, and it was with John Michael Knight and his mother Vicky was on, and she he had suffered, um, he suffers from locked-in syndrome, he had a stroke at 18. And it was incredible because she was so nervous to share her story authentically. And I remember that podcast. I still get goosebumps when I think about it because I just let her roll with it and tell her story of caregiving for her son now that, you know, was going to be playing lacrosse at a division one school the next year. He was that high school senior star athlete, and this happened. And then all of a sudden, she is the caregiver, she and her husband, but she took on the majority of that burden, that role, that um, you know, whatever that was, just out of love. And I remember one thing she said that this may resonate with you. She was standing in a in the hospital room and he, you know, she'd been there for days with him with no change. Um, and she finally got a glimpse of herself in kind of the window in the ICU and said, This is ridiculous. I can't show up like this anymore. Like, I gotta go home. I gotta shower. I gotta come back as John Michael's mom and I gotta be that strong person. And that's what she did. And when she got, you know, she went home, she showered, she said she put on a cute little outfit, she came back, there was no change. He had not made any progress or change at all. But she just said, This is my role, and I have to step up and I have to be strong. But he's gotta know that I love him and I gotta come across as as mom, as Vicky, you know, the person that he has always seen in his life. Um, that's a big caregiving role. It's a lot of weight.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

Yeah. And it's like she has to, I mean, I I I have not been in that situation, but I feel like you have to sort of love yourself and take care of yourself. And then that will be passed on to the person that you're you're caring for as well. It's just it'll just help both, I believe. I mean, my my mom's she'd be so proud of you.

SPEAKER_00 13:01

She'd be so proud of me.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

Oh, she I I wish you had her on the podcast. She's 93, she's still she's sharp as a tack, but she hates the limelight. Uh I you know what, Amy, I did a documentary. Maybe you can look at it later. It's on YouTube. Did it 20 years ago. I would. But it just shows both of them. Did you see it? Yeah. Angels in Wheelchairs. Yeah. That's them.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

That is I was prepping. Amazing.

SPEAKER_01 13:23

It's uh yeah, it gets in and out, and it's just it, but it tells you very quickly about their relationship. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

And uh I'll I'll link that in the show notes so people can watch that. Um why do you think why do you think caregiving changes people so deeply?

SPEAKER_01 13:41

It's I mean, come you know, it's it's your life, it's uh time change. You can't go to a movie and you know, whatever. It's like it's it's a lot of work. I mean, uh look, I take care of my six-year-old, and that is like a huge shift in my life. Just but he's able-bodied. He can he could put on his shoes, and and and but when you have to bathe somebody, especially somebody who's like almost the same size as you, physically, it's very difficult to do. And I've talked to a lot of caregivers who the person they are taking care of is weighs more than them. And it's like, boy, you really so you start to think about um, I mean, you think about your health.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:26

Uh, and that and I do. I think about look, I I had um my son at a at a at a late age for for a dad. So uh so I think about myself, I think about my health a lot. I think that uh it has changed my life and that I have to eat better and I have to exercise more because I want to be around for my son as long as possible. So I I don't know uh if caregivers do the same. I I wonder if they're like, well, I have to extend my life as long as possible.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

And right um I think it was such

Casting Disability With Integrity

SPEAKER_00 14:59

an interesting part. Let let's run through the film a little bit because I want to know how you casted the the the actors. But Oscar and Billy really, the main ones, Oscar being the dad, and Billy has cerebral palsy palsy, and he has cerebral palsy, autism, and a bit of a um doesn't he have some sight issues too?

SPEAKER_01 15:18

He's uh visually impaired, uh yeah, legally, legally blind, and he has scoliosis as well. Um, yeah, but just uh just an amazing human and just lovely to work with. Cole Cole Massey, who plays Cole Massey, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:33

Yeah, I see he's done some interviews too, which is amazing. And and Oscar just, I mean, it looked like an actual father and son. I mean, just that I thought it was amazing.

SPEAKER_01 15:43

Well, it's funny on set. This was probably day two, uh, you know, we had them on set, and a production assistant, she came up to us and said, Did you cast a real father-son? And when she said that, I was like, Yes, this is this is gonna work. Yeah, if we're behind the scenes filming this, then it's like, okay, it's working here. And I mean, uh Lance Kinsey, who plays who plays the dad, he is just phenomenal. He just made my screenplay sing. He, my gosh, he's uh I'll talk about both both of these main uh main actors, but uh first Lance, he uh he's a comedic actor. He's only done comedy his entire career. He's best known from the police academy films as Proctor. And I I ran into him on the film festival circuit with my last film. But if you watch his comedy, uh he had a film called All Stars. You know, this the scenes in between the comedy, you could see where he's just a great actor. And I thought I I told Lance when I would meet him on the festival circuit, like Lance, I would love to work with you someday. And that someday came with this film. And uh we just had a feeling, my my my wife and I, my wife was also pushing to cast him. She's like, let's cast Lance. He's he's great. And it was a big swing for us because he hadn't done drama, but we just you know, you just kind of know when somebody's just going to do a great job, and uh, and he did, and he just knocks it out of the park. Um, especially the one line, the one line that people always bring up is when he says, I had prayed that if I were to die, the Lord would take Billy with me, his son. And that's a line that just like it cuts through my heart, and it's the way he delivers it is just so profound. And can I speak about that line for us for a minute, actually?

SPEAKER_00 17:33

I I I love that line, it's in the trailer, I think it's fabulous.

SPEAKER_01 17:37

Thank you. I I I love it too, and I didn't write it, and it's the best line in the film. I didn't write it. So we we were having lunch with our friend Tina, and Tina her daughter has angelmins. I was talking about Angelmans earlier, and so by happenstance, our friend's daughter also has Angelman syndrome. Wow. So I had her read my screenplay back in 2020 or so, 2019, before we started filming. So I just wanted her to, I gave it to multiple people. I gave it to caregivers, I gave my screenplay to actors with disabilities, um, the whole gamut, and just to vet it. And so Tina, she's like, I love the screenplay, I love the story. And she that, but she told me that line. She said during lunch, she said, I just selfishly I would pray to God that if I died, the Lord would have mercy on me and take and take her daughter, um, Nicole with her. And so I just, oh my god, it was so profound, so heavy, such a heavy line. Yeah, and I immediately said, Tina, can I use that? I was like, that's so just the screenplay said those words. It didn't say them, but it it it it's what it was sort of the the I don't know, it was not the purpose of this the story, but it was there. I just hadn't said it out loud. And when she said, I was like, I have to say this out loud. I think I think the actor, the character has to say this.

SPEAKER_00 19:02

And that's what every parent would say.

SPEAKER_01 19:04

Exactly. Yeah, it's what they all feel. They all and and there's another term that now keeps cycling through my Instagram of I pray that I will die 10 minutes after my child, you know, or 10 seconds after my child goes, I hope that I go. So it's just that it's heartbreaking. And a lot of parents, they they do they do wish that, pray that. Um but yeah, but that but going back to Lance, he delivers that line just perfectly. And um Cole Massey, who plays Billy, so everything started with Cole. Everything, I'm sorry, everything started with the casting of Billy. So if I couldn't find my Billy, because it's very specific.

SPEAKER_00 19:46

Very specific.

SPEAKER_01 19:47

Very specific character that I wrote, couldn't find him because first and foremost, I I well, we were looking for an actor with a disability, and people think that's so crazy. Like, wow, you know, you really did cast an actor with a disability. It's like, of course. It's like I wouldn't, why would I cast an able-bodied person to be in a wheelchair? It's just not my style, I guess. But it's weird that other people would cast a non uh you know person. Yeah, so I just that was first and foremost. We found a casting director who specialized in actors with disabilities. So we reached out to Russell and he cast a wide net, couldn't find that actor because look, I wasn't just gonna cast an actor just because they were disabled. I I wanted a great actor for this role. So, you know, enrolls Cole Massey, and he was like the last. I was gonna give up. It's like, well, I don't think we're gonna find this person. I'm gonna move on to a different story, different screenplay. But uh Cole Massey came in and via Zoom, and he was like, Yep, I think he's the one. He's yeah, I think he's perfect. And so, and just like I said, just so such a professional, such a pro. And the the thing is people come up to him at screenings and they say, like they think he just sort of fell into this role, or that's really him on the screen. It's not really him, it's it's a character he's playing. He is a professional actor. Yeah, so but people ask him, Have you ever acted before? He's like, Yeah, I've been doing it for years. He's just yeah, he's fantastic. Fantastic.

Purpose Dignity And A Brutal Prayer

SPEAKER_00 21:24

So let's talk a little bit about you know what Oscar does. He wants to teach life skills, he knows that he's got a diagnosis. I don't want to give away the whole film because it's so good, but you know, that's so important. I think it's such an important piece of it. It's learning life skills and making him feel more independent.

SPEAKER_01 21:39

That's huge. And uh purpose, right? And that's purpose comes from for me, purpose is having a job. And when I've been out of work for a long time, and many of us have been, and I've I've been there, I was out of work for many years, and it just you just get down about it. And uh, I like to keep working. I I I love having a paycheck and I love having my name on a paycheck. And it's very I just I'm very working class like that.

SPEAKER_00 22:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

So and I I I don't know if other people feel like that, but I do, and I figure my character Billy would feel like that too. He needs purpose. And I know a lot of people with disabilities I yeah, they they would they would feel a bit about themselves. It just a lot of people would if they just could contribute to society in some way. I know that. I know that for a fact. And I think um this is a a side subject, but you know, you you you get disability checks or unemployment checks, and there's just it's so the amount is so small that they you know you you can't you can't live off that, but then if you get a job, those benefits get cut, and then it's this bad cycle. And um I'm getting on a tangent, but you know, it comes down to purpose, and I think a lot of us would feel better if you know. And that's the dad knows that in the film. The dad knows that if Billy has a job, he's just gonna feel better about himself. He's gonna have to do it.

SPEAKER_00 23:07

Validation, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

It's validation, it totally is.

SPEAKER_00 23:11

Uh, we talked a little

How To Watch And Why Credits Matter

SPEAKER_00 23:12

bit before. Jennifer Aniston loved this film. I think that's huge.

SPEAKER_01 23:16

She she just surprisingly somebody said Jennifer Aniston reposted. I'm like, Jennifer Aniston, like the actress.

SPEAKER_00 23:22

Amazing. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 23:22

And they said yeah, and they pointed me to her Instagram. It's like, there it is. She reposted it for us.

SPEAKER_00 23:26

So we want more people to watch this. Where can they stream, you know, for people around the country right now that are saying, hey, I really want to watch this and haven't yet.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

It's uh people often ask, when's it gonna be on Netflix? It'll never be on Netflix. It'll just you you have to, it's old school, you have to rent it, you know, just like you know, back in the days, you had to, but it's cheap. We kept it as cheap as possible. It's a dollar ninety nine for standard def 299 HD, just to rent. So we kept it. We told them what is the lowest price, and that's the lowest price. So we hope people do rent it and that they're not just gonna wait for it to stream for free because it'll never be there. But um, so yeah, you can find it on Amazon Prime, the the the usual places, Apple, iTunes, uh, YouTube, Google Play, um, or it's uh uh on our website too, Bluesend Pictures, Bluesend Pictures.com.

SPEAKER_00 24:16

There's a link to I'll put that in the notes too. When you actually watched this for the first time and it ended, and I'm sure you were sitting there with your wife. What did you say? I mean, what what was that? Just take me to that moment when the film ends? Yes, when you saw it for the first time.

SPEAKER_01 24:33

Oh, yes, yeah. Oh my god. But it's funny because that feeling, it still happens. We because it's it just came out on streaming last week. We watched the ending, and it every time it gets us. So it's weird. It does, it gets us every time. And I'm the I'm the biggest critic of my work, and I could always just sit there with my arms crossed and be like, oh, that could be so much better. And I do that with this film too. I do that with all my works like it could be better. But this one somehow I'm able to you we are, and uh, and but I am able to propel myself uh in as an into an audience member and watch it, and it's just like it just chokes me up every time, it really does. And the the the very sequence in the credits, which people are missing because you know, at the end of whenever you're watching something, it just when the credits come up, it's like next film, and it's just prepell I was like, my god, but there's a whole scene at the end that my wife cut, and it's a it's a beautiful scene, and uh it's fun and people should watch it. But um, yeah, my wife was also the co-editor on the film as well. So we we're both a team on this.

SPEAKER_00 25:40

Amazing.

Writing In Isolation And Beating Doubt

SPEAKER_00 25:41

Let's talk about writing a screenplay for a little bit because I know a lot of people listening right now, you know, a lot of people get stuck, whether it's a woman or a man that's trying to write something or trying to step into something. Um, they have this creative energy, they have a story to share. Walk me through that process. How do you get started? I mean, with writing something like this. Is it like writing a book or is it completely different?

SPEAKER_01 26:02

It I just for me, it has to, it has to be a story that I have that I want to tell. A lot, a lot of writers they'll think of something like, well, what's popular? Horror is popular. Oh, how about you know this? And they go, they go trends. I could never, I'm not a trend follower. I just follow my heart always, 100% is what I do. And that is the it's the stor. It's always the stories that I don't see up on the screen. This film, my last film, they're stories I've never seen before. And I feel like the it's like, well, I gotta fill that void, this gap. So if it's it just it has to call to me, it has like this paperbag plan. It's just it sits there and it cycles through my head over and over and over. At a certain point, I have to get it on paper. And so it, but it just sort of it it fills your mind, you know. It's in when you're taking the shower and all that, and it doesn't uh for me, it does, it's not very difficult because I'm not trying to tell I'm not trying to figure out what the story is. I'm not trying to I'm not trying to chase trends, right? It's just right, it comes naturally to me. Um, you know, in chunks, and then you gotta fill in the chunks, of course. And and uh part of it, I'll just tell you that the um I mean how I write is once I have it all in my head, then I have to get away. I have to, I think writing uh yeah, well for me, writing, uh I have to be isolated. I have to, I have to be in a quiet space where I'm not gonna, you know, if I'm at home, I'm gonna do the laundry, I'm gonna go fix whatever outside in the garden. And uh and so it's important to get away, at least you know, and it's hard. People that are parents or they they it's like well, how am I gonna escape? I can't do that. Right. You just you have to do whatever you have to do to to to to to make it work. But you know, my wife is incredibly supportive. She's like, go away, go away for three nights. She knows you need it. Yeah, she knows. Yeah, it it is it's yeah, but that's that's how it works for me. For me, excuse me.

SPEAKER_00 28:04

Take me to a moment when, you know, we all have those moments when you wake up and you just want to put the covers back over the head and just say, day, this is just too much. This is just too heavy. Did you have a moment or moments like that? Or can you just take me to one where you thought, can I really write this? Is is this really something I can do? Do you think this is gonna resonate with people? Did you ever have that moment where you were really stuck in fear and you had to push through?

SPEAKER_01 28:27

Yeah, all the way to the end. I I felt like all the way to the end until we I I put the music on and did the final edits. I knew again, going back to I'm I am my worst critic, and I am. I could just look at my work and just be like, gosh, it could be so much better. But uh with Paperbank Plan, it was a film that it was an idea I loved, a film that I loved. I just didn't think anybody was gonna resonate with this. Like, who's is it gonna touch anybody? And and it has, and uh it was it, yeah, it's been really heavy for a lot of people. And uh I think it's held a mirror up for a lot of people in terms of what am I going to is uh uh some people like what is gonna be my paperback plan? Like, what am I gonna do for my child and what am I going to once I'm off this earth? So it has brought up a lot of those those questions. But um, yeah, I I look my my confidence level goes from day, you know, today I'm like the I am an amazing director, writer, and then 20 minutes later it's like, my God, I'm a failure. I am just the worst imposter.

SPEAKER_00 29:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 29:35

And I I it's funny because I think a lot of us do that, and I I just go in these waves. And it's good because I think if I were to be on that hill of like, I'm amazing, I'm just a fantastic director, you're gonna make crap. You are just gonna just your stuff is gonna be horrible. Exactly. So luckily I have these waves up and down all day, every day.

SPEAKER_00 29:56

I think that's okay. I think that's very normal, and I think that's yeah, that's that's me too. Same thing. Yeah.

How To Support Indie Films

SPEAKER_00 30:02

Um, what do you see next? Like you're working on something else already, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_01 30:06

Yeah, I'm working on uh yeah, probably three films, three different films. Uh none of them are in production yet. So I'm still in the writing phase. Uh East Sushi, it's funny. That was my last film, Eastside Sushi. Somebody posted a clip of it on YouTube and it had 41 million views on this little clip. And so what? Yeah, and that was recently. And I thought, well, the film is still, I've always wanted to do Eastside Sushi 2 and 3. It was just sort of this package idea.

SPEAKER_00 30:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:35

I've just have I've never been able to like find a funder for it. So there's anybody, anybody with a lot of money out there? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

I was gonna say, anybody watching, listening, how can we support you? Yeah, as an indie film maker, writer, screenwriter, all of that, you and your wife, how can we how can we get the word out about this? About this film, about these actors.

SPEAKER_01 30:55

It it's easy. It just posts. I mean, that's how we get our information. Social media, thank you, Amy, for posting and about the film. And that is it. That is because we can't afford to put a billboard up. You know, we we can't afford to run ads on TV, we just can't afford to do that. So we rely on on word of mouth and the you know, the awesomeness of people. Just put it out there and just tag us and follow us and do a review of the film. Reviews of the films help.

SPEAKER_00 31:24

And has your mom seen this? Has your mom watched it?

SPEAKER_01 31:27

She she loves it. Yeah, she loves it. So she's um, I have to make her a DVD of it though, because she has no way of watching, she has no streaming, she has no computer. Yeah, so I have to make a DVD of it. Yeah, but she she loves it. The first line in the film of one, two, three, Jesus be with me. That's what she would say every day when she'd pick up Eddie, my brother. She would say one, two, three, Jesus be with me. She'd pick him up. And so when that line comes up right in the beginning of the film, she just started crying. Oh my god. She's like, she's like, that is so funny because she said, That's what I say. I'm like, Ma, that's just because you say I put that in the film. I know that's like what you say.

SPEAKER_00 32:05

So you are just such a kind, you can just tell the kindness just oozes out of you. It's amazing. I mean, you just do amazing, amazing work. If we were to sit down and and talk to friends of yours, like back in high school or middle school, you know, did would they be looking at you and saying, that's exactly what Anthony would be doing? You had a heart like that back then. Would they be saying that?

SPEAKER_01 32:27

Yeah, I think so. I uh yeah, I I I I have a lot of support, uh, even from high school. I still have all of my and I just love it. I as soon as I post something stupid, whatever, I just have a lot of people that just show me love and just like amazing. And and uh I do. I have a lot of of good fortune from friends and family so that support me. So it's great. Yeah, I love it. I love it.

SPEAKER_00 32:51

I think it's amazing. Well, I'll post everything about the episode. I mean, in the episode notes about the movie, about you. Um, and uh I want to ask you one last question. And this one always gets people thinking. So if you were sitting on the couch and you look over and there's Anthony at 20, what advice would you give him?

SPEAKER_01 33:12

I I would uh I what advice would I give him? Go find a job that makes good money because uh you know, then you can make your your passion films and then you can yeah. I I think I don't know, I I I chased the art for so many years and art doesn't pay well. I think I would probably go work at Google and get some big stock options and then go make my passion, go make my art and then go. Yeah, that's really bad. That's really like stupid advice, you know. But um, but it's it's it's semi-true. It really is. Like just you know, work hard, work hard. But I've always worked hard, I've never stopped working hard. So I I couldn't tell myself to work hard because I've always done that.

SPEAKER_00 33:54

But well, you've seen that with your mom. She worked hard her whole life, you know, and it's continuing. I mean, when you live in that environment and you live with through that and see that, that's a real tribute to her.

SPEAKER_01 34:06

Yeah, and she was just she she managed uh the the high school that I that I went to. She was the uh snap bar manager, and that's what she did. And she did it so that she could put us through it was Catholic school, and she that's how she could afford to do it. And she worked hard her whole life. She had her my brother taking care of him, and there were seven siblings, and yeah, it stemmed from her. She worked hard her whole life and still didn't mean yeah amazing.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

Well, cheers to your wife as well. I'm sorry we didn't get to meet her, but uh but she's amazing. It's cool that you're working as a husband-wife team and put this amazing film out there for people to see, and uh I'm just I'm proud of you, and I I'm thankful that we were able to connect.

SPEAKER_01 34:48

Thank you. I could not have done it without her. So um, yeah, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 34:52

Amazing. All right, I'll put everything in the episode notes and thanks so much.

SPEAKER_01 34:56

Thank you.

Host Outro And Ways To Connect

SPEAKER_00 35:06

Thanks so much for joining me today on The Right Size Life. If this episode resonated with you, I hope you'll share it with someone who may need a little encouragement, clarity, or inspiration in this season of life. And don't forget to subscribe, you know the right size life, was originally Fearlessly Facing50, and now we've rebranded to the Right Size Life. So make sure you're following it on anywhere you listen to podcasts. It's on all the platforms. And you can find me at Fearlessly Facing50.com, F-I-F-T-Y, remember 50 is always spelled out. On Instagram, I'm the Amy.schmidt, and on Facebook at Fearlessly Facing50. And I would love for you to get on the waiting list for my book, which will be launching soon. So if you'd like to be on the list and the first to know when it launches, you can go ahead and simply email me, Amy at fearlesslyfacing50.com, F-I-F-T-Y.com, and put the word list L I S T in the subject line, and I will add you to the waiting list. And remember, sometimes the next chapter begins with letting go. I'll see you next time on the right size life. Have a great and blessed week.