The Right-Sized Life with Amy Schmidt
You've proven you're brave. You cannonballed into one chapter of your life and showed up fully — for your family, your career, your community, everyone who needed you. You did that. And it mattered.
Now you're asking a different question.
Not how do I do more? But does this still fit?
Welcome to The Right-Sized Life with Amy Schmidt — the podcast for women who are done maintaining the old life and ready to build the true one.
Every episode, Amy brings the honest conversation you've been waiting for — the one that sounds less like a self-help seminar and more like a glass of wine with your wisest friend. Real stories. Practical frameworks. Permission to let go of what no longer fits and make room for what actually does.
Because a right-sized life isn't about having less.
It's about having what fits — so when the moments that matter arrive, you are actually there for them.
Amy Schmidt is the founder of Fearlessly Facing Fifty, bestselling author of CANNONBALL! Fearlessly Facing Midlife and Beyond and the forthcoming The Right-Sized Life, TEDx speaker, and one of the most trusted voices in midlife women's media.
Go forth and live aligned. 🤍
The Right-Sized Life with Amy Schmidt
EP7: The One Night a Week That Changes Everything — Introducing No Plan Night™
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Your calendar can look totally reasonable and still leave you running on empty. That’s the tension we dig into today: the quiet exhaustion that doesn’t come from “too much to do,” but from giving your energy in the wrong directions, often by habit. I share the moment that forced me to face it, the resistance I felt, and what happened when I finally gave a clear, grounded no instead of another automatic yes.
We build a simple framework you can use immediately: time is fixed, energy is not. Together we walk through an Energy Audit you can do in one sitting by listing everything that filled your week and sorting it into energy drains, energy builders, and neutral or necessary tasks. That quick sort turns vague burnout into real information, so you can see what’s quietly costing you the most and what actually restores you.
Then I introduce my favourite weekly practice for right sizing your energy: the No Plan Night. One evening a week gets a big red X before anything else can land there no dinner plans, no errands, no “quick calls,” no laundry pretending to be restful. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s one unclaimed evening that gives your whole week more patience, presence, and breathing room. Try it this week, then subscribe, share this with a friend who’s depleted, and leave a review telling me what you’re putting under that red X.
Get a copy of Amy’s Best selling book: CANNONBALL! FEARLESSLY Facing Midlife and Beyond here
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Welcome Back And Quick Wins
Hey! Hey there, it's Amy, and welcome back to the Right Size Life. I hope you're all doing fantastic. And I hope you uh tackled that fearless edit. I heard from a whole lot of you. And let me just give you a big round of applause. Like if I was technically savvy and could put that little sound bite in here right now of a round of applause or like a woo-woo, I would, but yeah, I'm not that technically savvy. So I am just telling you, way to go. I am proud of you. And you know what? That's all it took, right? 20 minutes? 20 minutes! I know it sounds crazy, but it actually works. It actually works. So I want you to live with that fearless edit. 20 minutes. Whenever you want to tackle something else, just think of that 20 minutes in the fearless edit and share it with your friends. So welcome to the right size life. I'm Amy Schmidt, your host, and I'm so happy that you're
Right Sizing Energy With No Plan Night
here. Today we're gonna be talking about right sizing your energy and something that I call drum roll. Okay, once again, if I was technically savvy, I'd have the drum roll, but I don't. Drum roll for one of my favorite things I do called the no plan night. Hashtag NPN, baby, the no plan night. Now I wish I would have had this when my kids were littles. Wow. So those young mamas out there listening, incorporate the NPN, and I'm gonna tell you all about it. Before we get going today, remember that you can follow me on fearlesslyfacing50.com. 50 is spelled out. I'm actually gonna be revising my website. I'm very excited about that. But right now you can find me at fearlesslyfacing50.com. You can find me on Instagram at the Amy.schmidt, S-C-H-M-I-D-T, the good old German way to spell Schmidt, the Amy.schmidt. And on Facebook, Fearlessly Facing50, you can find me there. I've got a couple of groups too. The Radiant Woman Reset Group. Wow, you guys are rock stars. I mean, killin' it. May was mayhem, right? So, and the summer months can always be crazy. And so that's why I think this episode with the NPN, the No Plan Night, is perfectly timed. So let's get going.
The Hidden Pattern Behind Exhaustion
All right, so I have really been wanting to record this one for a while because I think it might be the most important conversation we have on the show. I'm not kidding. I really do think this is super important. Not the most dramatic, not the most emotional, the most immediately useful. And I think that's what this is all about. So we're talking about energy, specifically why you're exhausted when your calendar doesn't look that bad and what to do about it. All right. Anyone out there? Okay, just give a woot-woot if you actually agree with that. Like specifically why you're exhausted when your calendar doesn't look that bad and what to do about it. Okay, that's what we're digging into today. Here's the thing that changed everything. Everything for me. I used to think I was tired because I was doing too much. Okay, let's just think back. And especially for those young mamas that are listening, I was always tired. Okay. It was like, oh, I'm too tired. Like, I am tired. Okay, what Amy, what's wrong? I'm just tired. And it really, I mean, I was always doing a lot. Don't get me wrong. I I still think of my friend. Um, and I've said this so many, this story so many times. It was in my first book. Um, the woman, a good friend of mine who used to drive by, had a Honda Honda Odyssey. And that thing was never in the driveway every time she went by. She's like, are you ever home? Are you always doing something? And I remember that so vividly. And it also took me back to, am I too busy? Like, busy is not the word you want to use. Productive. That get rid of the B word. But was I just like spinning my wheels just because I didn't want to spend time with myself? I mean, was I too busy? I don't know, but I was always tired. I realized something. I wasn't doing too much. I was giving energy in the wrong directions. To commitments, I'd say yes to out of habit. Hmm, does that kind of resonate? To roles I'd stepped into so long ago, I forgot I chose them. Okay, somewhat relatable. To the low hum of obligations that lived in the background of every week without ever announcing themselves. Hmm. None of it felt significant on its own, but together, oh man, it was everything. And underneath all of it was a pattern I had never stopped to question. It was a pattern. I just kept doing it. You know how it is. Habits are hard to break, right? Habits are hard to break. I'm someone who leads. I always have been that way. Maybe it's birth order. I'm the youngest by well, I was an accident. We can go into that in another, not really an accident, but kind of an accident. I did happen on a ski trip. And my four older siblings were a heck of a lot older than me. 10 years, 12 years, 16 years, and 18 years. So a little bit of a mishap on a ski trip to Michigan, but you know what? I'm here and I love it. And I love to tell the story about it. But I am someone who leads. I organize things, I chair things, I launch things, obviously. I step in when something needs to be done. And not halfway. I am like an all-in girl, like all in. And I can think of one particular friend, Bestie, right now, that is just like me, and I'm a little older, and I'm always telling her, you know what? I know how you get into things. You're never halfway. You are over OTT, over the top, not in a bad way, but just the way it is. I'm always all in. And for years, that served me beautifully. It built community, it created connection, and it gave me purpose. And for me, I was moving every couple of years. I mean, 14 moves to this day, that's a lot of moves. You know, well, two in the last couple of years that were like, you know, my whole story. That's why we write size. That's the whole thing. But a lot of moves. And so when you move a lot, you kind of just do it because you want to build community, you want to create connection. And I wanted to be validated. I wanted purpose. But somewhere along the way, I stopped asking myself whether it still fit. Does this still fit until one moment that changed
Saying No And Sitting With Fear
that? Okay, it was a summer reunion, the kind of thing I would normally take on without hesitation. Plan it, organize it, make sure every detail was accounted for and every person felt included. That's like a big part of me. Like I didn't ever want to let anybody down. I mean, we're all like that, right? But I was like, oh, I can't not do that. I can't not include them on every detail, even though they're probably looking at this group chat going, why is she including me on this? Like, I don't need to know everything. She's doing it. But I did. This was my role. Like it had always been my role. But this time, when it came up, I felt something I wasn't expecting. Not excitement, resistance. A quiet, honest voice that said, I don't want to do this. Not because I didn't care, but because I knew exactly what saying yes would require. And for the first time, I was tired. I was tired, not physically, energetically. Tired of being the one who held it all together while quietly running on empty. And I know I have the bestest friends. I'm I I am so blessed with awesome friends. And I don't need a posse. I just need my little core that just listens to me. And man, every one of them listened to me. And you know how I always say sometimes you have to listen to the things you don't want to hear. I kept hearing it from every one of them. But I kept doing it, right? I kept doing it. But for this particular reunion, for the first time in a very long time, I said no. Not a soft no, not a maybe later, a clear, honest, grounded no. And then I sat with it. The first thing I felt, oh my gosh, I fear, total fear, the worry that I was letting people down. That was first and foremost. I remember like my husband coming home from work and being like, what's up? Like, Amy, why are you so crabby? What's going on? And I'm like, oh, I said no, like I'm totally letting my whole family down. I was so afraid that things would fall apart without me. I sat with the fear for a while and I let it be there without rushing past it. And then slowly I exhaled and something else arrived. Liberation, a quiet, expansive sense of space that I hadn't realized I had been living without. Here's the framework I want to give you today, because this is simple and it'll change your week immediately. And like I said, I wish I so would have thought of this when I had littles. So for all you mamas out there with littles that are getting up in the middle of the night, that are waiting for your next wine night with the girlies because you just gotta get the heck out of the house. I mean, so been there. But even for us mommies and grandmas and great grandmas and everybody that's been around a while, this is for you too.
The Energy Audit That Changes Weeks
Time is fixed, energy is not. Okay, I'm gonna repeat that. Time is fixed, energy is not. You can have a completely open day and feel utterly drained. Right? Been there? Or a full busy day and feel completely alive. The difference isn't what you're doing, it's what's taking your energy and what's giving it back. So here's what I want you to do this week. I call it the energy audit. I kind of like that. We'll just say hashtag EA. The energy audit. Write down everything that filled your time in the past week. Okay? I'm not kidding. Like, write down everything. Everything, every little thing that filled your time, every commitment, every conversation, every recurring obligation. Then sort each one into three categories. Energy drain. Okay, these are the categories. Energy drain, energy builder, and neutral, or I kind of say necessary. Energy drain leaves you tired, depleted, smaller than when you started. Okay, look at your list. Energy builder leaves you lighter, more yourself, more present. Look at your list. Neutral, or I can't, I say that necessary. So either N-word. Part of life, not particularly draining or restoring. Okay, now look at your list again. Where are you spending the most? Where are you getting the least back? That's your audit. That's your audit. That's your information. And information, as we say on this show, is always where the right sizing begins. Okay? Information is always where the right sizing begins. Okay, so let's do that. Energy drain, energy builder, neutral or necessary. Okay, so cool. I I love these little things. So if you don't have a journal, okay, I was at TJ Maxx the other day, and of course, winding my way through the line, because there's always a line at TJ Maxx. And this was a TJ Maxx slash home goods, so it's extra long. And you get to that end. I I know I'm digressing, but the energy audit, right? Time audit. It's my storytelling part of this. You're walking along and then you see, like, oh man, I kind of like that hair clip. Boy, I think my daughter would like that hair clip. Or oh, those that tea towel is so cute. And oh, that journal. Okay. If you see a journal, pick one up because you want to write these things down. Every week. The energy drain, the energy builder, the neutral or necessary. Okay.
No Plan Night Rules And Red X
Now I want to introduce you to something that might be the single most powerful practice in my book. You know my book's coming out. I know, I know. I'm not being boastful, but I'm so excited about this book because it's it, I just think it's gonna resonate with everybody at any stage. Anybody going through any transition, it's not just for empty nesters, it's for everybody. Anyway, okay, not to digress, but I think this is the single most powerful practice. And it's called the No Plan Night. It's exactly what it sounds like. All right. So one night a week, you put a red X. So get a big red Sharpie marker on your calendar before anything else can land there. Okay, so if you have those cool whiteboards, well, I uh you probably don't have those whiteboards anymore. You guys that are listening that are young and hip and trendy, you probably don't have whiteboards, but I used to have whiteboards and they were color-coded for each kid and my husband. So anyway, whatever you have, put a big X through it. Before anybody can ask, before you can say yes out of habit, put an X on the calendar before anything else can land there. Because that night belongs to no one but you. Okay? Like, can you even imagine looking at the red X and being like, wow, okay, like this is my night. No dinner plans, no commitments, no social obligations, no quick calls, no catching up on laundry, pretending it's rust. We all do that, right? We bring our laundry over. I remember, oh, I still do it. Take the laundry out, put it on the couch. No, no laundry, no, no, no folding it. Nothing. Just nothing. Wide, open, glorious. Nothing. And what I discovered in that nothing, I didn't actually do nothing. I did whatever I actually wanted to do. Crazy, right? Some nights that was reading. Some nights a bath and a show I'd been saving. Some nights I just sat in my chair and watched the water. Not even kidding. The difference between those evenings and every other evening was not what I was doing. It was that no one, no one had a claim on me. And that feeling of being unclaimed for one evening a week is one of the most restorative things I have ever experienced.
Protect The Practice And Final CTAs
What I found after years now of protecting my NPN, my no plan night, the rest of my week got better. I was more patient, I was more present. For sure. More generally available for the people and commitments I'd chosen to say yes to. Because I wasn't running on a tank that was quietly always empty. Okay. I know you always say you can't pour from an empty cup. You can't pour from an empty evening. Okay. The NPN. All right. You got it. You got it. I can't wait to see your calendars. Yes, with a red, a big old sharpie red NPN through it. I can't, I can't wait. Send me the pictures. I want everybody to send me a picture of their calendar with their red X's through it. I'm right now thinking of some of my nieces that are moms, and I'm like, oh my gosh, I really hope they incorporate this theory because they need NPNs more than anybody. So your assignment before your next episode. Just like I said, open your calendar right now, or your whiteboard, or your cool little calendars on your phone, or whatever you have, and find one evening this week. This week that doesn't have something on it, and put a red X through it. Label it NPN. If someone asks what you're doing that night, I have plans is a complete sentence. It is. And I was an English major. Alright? I have plans. Period. It's a complete sentence. Your plan is to have no plans. That counts. And then next Monday, put the X down again for next week. One night, one X every week. That's the whole practice. That's the whole practice. Alright. I will see you guys next episode. I hope you are loving the right size life. I've got some great shows coming up with some awesome guests I'm so excited about. And stay tuned for my book. Remember, you can go ahead and email me, Amy, at fearlessly facing50FIFTY.com. And in the subject line, put list and I'll put you on the waiting list for the book. All right. And like I always say, I used to say, go forth and be awesome. I still love that one. Still just rolls off the tongue, but you know what? Go forth and live yours. Alright, see you soon.